None of us are flawed, we are different, and it helps to know-how. (It tells you to avoid “avoidants” because they will avoid being attached to you and not reciprocate your needs – too wordy?) This is relieving to know. In short, it tells you to be with people who validate you, don’t call your need for affection as complaints, don’t think of your dependency as demands, and are willing to provide attachment. Dependency is a fact about all humans and not a choice made by a few.
A supportive partner/parent/guardian can provide a secure base for adult relationships.
The more effectively dependent people are on one another, the more independent and daring they become. Knowing what type of other people can help us have a fair idea of whether they will meet our attachment needs. There are broadly four kinds of attachment styles, and not all types fit each other. This means we are not clingy if our attachment needs are met. It tells that attachment is normal it’s doesn’t deserve a perverse connotation as “clingy.” We, humans, are all only as attached to our unmet needs. It touches the tip of the iceberg that is attachment theory, which I wish I had learned sooner. “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find-and Keep-Love” by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller is one five-star book I read recently. Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar – What Does It Mean To Be A Woman And “Crazy”? 💃 🤪 It has to be one of those few hundred books you read in your lifetime. A five-star book is one that both significantly changed how I think, and I also recommend others to read it. In my opinion, a four-star book significantly changed what I think or had huge takeaways from. So, I’ve decided that one has to be more thoughtful about giving stars to books since we’ve concluded only to read a few hundred books in a lifetime, it has to be somewhat telling if I gave a book five stars.
Using social media to feed people useless content about my burned dosa to the availability of blogging platforms makes a poor writer out of us, to the several rubbish books I read because it was free on Kindle. With social media, visual entertainment, and several other things to keep us occupied, perhaps even less than a hundred really good books in a lifetime. That’s a life-changing thought. Then, I read somewhere that an average human can only read a few hundred books in their lifetime. I’m pretty lenient, especially when someone’s wage depends on my humble opinion.) Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel S. I’m the type of person who gives five stars for everything in every feedback form at a restaurant or a customer service call.
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